My 2Cents!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Newsletter all about Living with Abundance, Ditching Debt and Collecting Cash.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Janine Bolon, Editor janine@smartcentsinc.com
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In this issue -- Note from the Editor -- Create a Wealthy Mentality, Start Talking about Money -- Your Parents and Money: Breaking the Barrier of Silence -- Reader Question: What do I do with all these coins? -- WHO WE ARE
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Note from the Editor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Frugal Friend, Here we are on Corporate Tax Day. For all of you entrepreneurs out there, my thoughts are with you as we write our checks to Uncle Sam for the right to run a business. Grumble, grumble, grumble. This issue covers silence. The silence that creates emotional and financial harm, it is the taboo topic of money. There are two articles this week to work you through the process of initiating the discussions with family and advisors. Create a Wealthy Mentality, will assist you in working with your personal finances while “Breaking the Barrier of Silence” will give you some tips on discussing money with your aging parents. I have Dan Taylor to thank for his many tips and comments on discussing money within your family. This issue is a tough one to implement. I know that all too well as I watched my own mother die from a terminal disease. I don’t want anyone to have to go through the emotional pain of dealing with finances when you have a parent who is no longer capable of carrying a conversation. We all want to avoid legacy discussions for as long as possible, but I highly recommend that you no longer delay in talking about money. It is a topic that will lead to emotional as well as financial well being. Wishing you abundance, Janine Create a Wealthy Mentality, Start Talking about Money ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the things I first noticed as my husband and I moved from the financial cellar to financial stability and, eventually, wealth was how the conversations in our lives changed. I don’t mean the conversations between us, but the conversations we had with friends, colleagues and total strangers. A new topic developed that we had never chatted about with our family. That topic was money. When Brad and I were in debt and living in a 4 room mobile home, the subject of money never came up at parties, work get-togethers or family events. It was taboo to talk about legal tender unless you were discussing a decrease in income or how Uncle Sam managed to cut you out of more cash. However, as our financial situation became stronger and we started investing our savings account, a whole new world opened up to us. We noticed we were having more and more conversations about money with everyone that wasn’t our family and friends. It was the weirdest thing. One particular conversation stands out from the rest. I was in the break room at work finishing off a bagel and cup of coffee when a co-worker of mine popped in and sat down next to me. He was a gentleman of 52-years of age. After exchanging pleasantries he hit me with a bombshell. “I’m going to retire next month.” I responded with a blank stare and a, “You’re WHAT?” He repeated his reply and then he said he had noticed how I never ate lunch in the cafeteria and that I always brought my own coffee in a thermos to work. He asked me what my retirement plans were. I was 31 at the time. I laughed and said that I figured it would take Brad and I another 30 years or so before we could retire. He then looked me straight in the eye and said, “You can do it faster than that, if you want to.” He then outlined for me a 15 year plan that he and his wife had used to get them to a financially secure spot to leave the work force for good. I was stunned. No one had ever talked to me about money like that. What I came to realize was this, wealthy people talk about money, but the middle class and others do not unless it is the negative view of money. What does this mean for you? Simply this. Start acting like the wealthy and initiate conversations about money with people who can help you. When was the last time you had a discussion about money with that “rich” Uncle of yours that didn’t relate to a loan? Start asking people who have money advice on how to handle it and work with it. Don’t get personal about their finances or ask for details, but talk to them about what their advice would be. If you’re like me, my family rarely had a savings account so the first time I had $5,000 in an account, I panicked because I knew I HAD to do something with it, but I had no idea WHAT to do with it. As far as I was concerned having a strategy for investing money was like shooting a rocket to the moon. I didn’t know the first thing about it! Initiate conversations with financial professionals, talk with wealthy family members, if no one in your family is wealthy then set up an appointment with the “wealthy” person in your town. The one everyone knows and ask them what their advice would be to someone who is just starting out. I did this very thing when I was 32. I called up a gentleman who was worth 25 million dollars and asked for a 30 minute appointment and I offered to pay him his consultant rate. He was charging $400 an hour. The best way to obtain a wealthy mentality is to start forming strategies and goals for what to do with the money that you are saving. If you have no idea about what to do with money, like me, then chat with folks who obviously invest and discuss strategies with them. Your Parents and Money: Breaking the Barrier of Silence ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Many of us are in the “Sandwich Generation.” We belong to the wonderful group of families that are still in the process of raising children and we have the added responsibility of caring for elderly parents. Most of the time this is not an issue until the subject of money or health care comes up. Usually when money comes into the conversation it is due to a financial disaster or a health crisis that will force us to delve into our parents’ checkbooks in an attempt to sort situations out. Do you really want to wait for such a crisis to develop before initiating the conversation of money? Or would you rather wait until your parent is mentally incompetent to discuss financial strategies. Most of us would answer with a big, healthy, “No!” However, starting a conversation about money with a parent can be frustrating at best. Most of the time parents think they are helping by not burdening you with their problems. Frequently, when I approached my folks about money their comments were; “Don’t worry about us. We’re fine, kid.” “We got it all handled, you just worry about your own family.” Stuff like that. It was maddening. My father only opened up about finances after the death of my mother. It took that traumatic experience for him to realize why I needed to know certain things about his finances and how he wanted his estate to be handled upon his death. I waited for 18 months after my mom’s funeral before I sat down with my dad and asked him what he wanted done. He was resistant at first, but finally understood that I was asking out of respect for him and his wishes. It took another 6 months after that before he sent me copies of his will and a list of people were various items were to go upon his death. I watched a similar situation occur with my husband and his parents. Both of his parents are still alive, but I watched my husband and his brother spend 3 years every Thanksgiving and Christmas trying to get their parents to create wills and living trusts so that the rest of the family wouldn’t be burdened with choices that really belonged to the parents. I thought, “There has got to be an easier way to handle this!” Then I read an article in “How to Get Your Parents to Open Up About Their Finances.” The Bottom Line Magazine(March 2007) It was written by Dan Taylor who is an attorney who specializes in elder-care issues. I recommend that you go to his website at http://www.parentcaresolution.com/ and look over the articles and questions that he has set up to assist the sandwich generation talk to parents about issues of health care and money. He recommends six critical conversations that need to be discussed. 1- The Big Picture Conversation (What do we want for our long-term care?) 2- The Money Conversation (What do we have, where is it, how do we get to it?) 3- The Home Conversation (How much is it worth, How do we use it, How do we leave it?) 4- The Property Conversation (What do we want to keep? What do we want to give?) 5- The Care Conversation (Where do we go, What do we need, who provides it?) 6- The Legacy Conversation (How will we be remembered, who will remember us, and when do we talk about our memories?) I highly recommend that anyone who has living parents have these discussions with them. They are productive and managed to make the transition of life stages much less painful as your parents’ age. If you want more information on this topic you can read Dan Taylor’s book, The Parent Solution: A Legacy of Love. Reader Question: What do I do with all the coins? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Janine: I’m inundated with coins!!! What do I do with all these coins? I have a huge jar full of them and the bank won’t take them! Anonymous-Nevada This question shows how the Universe was flowing money into this family’s life. They were being swamped in coinage and didn’t know what to do. Upon further questioning I asked the woman what she meant about the bank wouldn’t take the coins. It seems the bank would take the coins but you had to have them rolled/wrapped and have your account number on them. I then stated what I thought was the obvious, “Well, wrap your coins and do the 60/40 Principle to them.” I thought the woman before me was going to melt on to the floor. She had just had her 5th child and was in no mood to wrap coins. What amazed me was the response of the group I was talking to. They all started giving her time and energy saving ideas on how to wrap all the coins without her having to do the work! Here were a few of the suggestions: 1- Find a grocery store that has a coin counting machine and run your jars of coins through it. 2- Buy a battery operated coin counter and dump your change in it! (These usually run from $19.95-$24.95) 3- Pay your kids 10% of the loot to wrap the coins. 4- Pay a neighbor kids to warp coins. The point is this. When you start operating the 60/40 Principle the Universe it going to give you money, but who knows what form it may come in. If it comes in coins, whatever you do, keep the stuff moving. Don’t allow money to sit. You want your money to work for you in investments or a savings account earning compound interest. Don’t let it wallow in a jar because you don’t want to wrap it. Find a way to keep the flow of money streaming into your life! Do You Have a Question for the Next Newsletter? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you've got a question you want me to address in the next newsletter, type it up and please send it to janine@smartcentsinc.com with the subject line "My 2Cents Question." My 2Cents will feature a question each issue from the Frugal Friends Network. If you wish to remain anonymous, not a problem! Just state that in your email.
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